Resources For Grief Blog

"Happiness is not a matter of intensity,

but of balance and order, and rhythm and harmony."

 ~Thomas Merton

 

When we visited Nova Scotia a few years ago, my husband and I discovered a small hidden beach on Cape Breton Island filled with hundreds of cairns—human-made piles of balanced rocks. Whether done as a memorial, a form of meditation, or to mark a trail, creating a cairn takes patience.

 

Since returning from that trip, my husband has strategically placed several cairns around our front yard, serving as a reminder to the unique sight we experienced, and symbolizing the beauty of a life in balance. They serve as my cue card when I start to feel off-kilter, which tends to happen when I’ve given too much time to my business, volunteer involvements, and social engagements, and not enough time to activities that help me feel stable and grounded. Cooking nutritious meals, exercising on most days, getting a good night’s sleep, attending weekly religious services, and spending quality time with family and friends helps me keep my life in balance. Yes, I manage for short periods with these priorities on the back burner, but when it goes on too long, I get irritable and anxious. Like me, the cairns in our front yard lose their balance sometimes too when the wind or deer knocks off a stone or two. Then, after noticing the damage, my husband or I head outside to re-stack them, putting them in balance once again.

 

Reflection: What symbolizes a life in balance for you? What symptoms are reminders that your life is off-kilter, and what practices bring back a sense of balance and stability? How do you incorporate these during your work as a caregiver?

 

Warmest regards in the New Year,

 

Rebecca Hauder, BSN, M.Ed.

All contents © 2008-2024 Resources for Grief